Nyah: The dinner with Thaddeus, a more cheerful and rejuvenated Allan, and their mother went perfectly okay, despite the distractions Thaddeus and I had encountered earlier in the evening. I spent a Thaddeus-Joshua-and-Dave-free weekend, staying at home and bonding with my family (and Mom let me proofread one of her latest, Tease, and comment on it). This Monday morning in particular, I have other plans in mind.
“Des,” I said, and she looked up from her desk. She was amazingly early to work today (and I found out later that she has a client meeting at 9:30), and she was finishing an email when I approached her. She held up a hand and finished typing “Regards, Desiree,” gave the email one quick read-through, and then clicked “Send.”
She looked up at me.
“So, you enjoyed the weekend with your elevator guy?” she asked, and I shook my head firmly. “Des, Joshua is a good guy—”
“Kid. He is a good kid,” she corrected me, and I rolled my eyes. “He’s turning eighteen, and I don’t get it why you are making his age an issue here,” I countered, and she smiled. “Look, Nyah, if age wasn’t an issue for you,” she began, standing up, “how come you never corrected everyone and my impression that Joshua isn’t in college?”
I opened my mouth, hoping it could speak up for me, but it didn’t.
“Honey, if you really like the kid, then go for him. You shouldn’t mind all the issues. If he makes you happy, that’s good enough for me. Just break it to Thaddeus this early so he won’t be hoping he can be anything to you other than a friend and a former date,” Desiree said, and I nodded. “Actually, I sort of told him that last Friday. He asked me to make a choice,” I said honestly, and Desiree’s eyes popped in amusement.
“Yeah. Initially I said I’d choose no one, but… I told him afterwards that I would choose Joshua,” I told her.
“And then what did he say?”
I frowned, trying to remember what Thaddeus had said, knowing it was a bit quotable and that it rang in my ears that night. “He said, ‘You love me, and you have to understand that for some people, just getting someone to love them is good enough.’ Those were his words.”
“Back up—you told him you love him?”
I nodded—and then hesitated, seeing Desiree’s disapproving look. “Doesn’t help your case, really,” she said, and I frowned, leaving my question unasked. “You told him you love him, so he’d just hang on,” Desiree said, answering my unspoken question.
“That part I haven’t addressed,” I said after a while, since Thaddeus and I haven’t talked about it, not even when he took me home from that dinner. “But I kinda like him around,” I said, and she laughed. “You, honey, cannot just collect. You need to select, Nyah,” she said, and I nodded.
“I know. I have chosen, you know that? It’s just that… I’m still in the process of hoping that the choice I’ve made is the right one.”
Desiree gave me a small smile as she flopped back down on her swivel chair. “Well, you won’t know about that unless you make that choice and see what happens afterwards, right?”
“Right,” I said, and I slowly made that resolution that (1) I will have to talk to Thaddeus to officially end the dating phase; and (2) get Joshua to talk to me again so that I can tell him that I am in love with him. He still is mad at me, from what I recall, and I don’t know when he’ll be back here from Hongkong.
I will make Joshua the right choice.
I hope he is the right choice.