Soooo… on travel, writing, and living (a.k.a. a recap of why I missed some months on blogging)

Hello, hello! Welcome back! (?)

So I haven’t been blogging / posting much here because I’m busy doing three things, namely:

  1. Work, of course, which I recently found out need not take precedence over everything in life;
  2. Writing my contemporary romance novella, now with the title The Real Score for my #RomanceClass (more on this later); and
  3. Living. Actually living. 

In my past few months of absence on this blog, I went to exactly three places I have never been to before: Negros Occidental, Davao, and Bataan (at least the tourist spots that we went to). Traveling is fun – minus the grueling part where you wait for delayed flights and long trips on buses and/or cars. (On some days, though, I like the long trips because it helps me think.)

I went to Negros Occidental, particularly in Silay, Bulata, and Danjugan Island, because of a trip I won from work (see, hard work really does pay off). In Silay we did a tour of the ancestral homes there, and I learned a lot particularly at the Hofilena’s house because of Sir Ramon. Go there, and he’d make the trip worth it.

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After the trip in Silay, we endured this three- to four-hour car ride to Punta Bulata, which is virtually paradise, especially if you want to disconnect from everything. I say this because there is little to almost no signal in this area, which could work to your advantage as well. This scene welcomed us, which made me love the place:

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It has calm clear waters and white (or should I say coral-ly) sand. And to top it off: the place is a bit private. There were some families who do day trips to the resort, but during the nights, it was mostly us and a handful of other guests which is less than 30. It’s a happy place if you enjoy the peace and quiet. And sunsets like this:

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Honestly, I only thought sunsets like that existed in the wallpapers that came with laptops or in Boracay. I was glad to be wrong about this, because Punta Bulata has one of the most gorgeous sunsets I’ve ever seen.

The highlight of the trip was Danjugan Island, a marine reserve about ten to fifteen minutes away from Punta Bulata. Trips to this island need to be pre-arranged as only forty people are allowed on the island at a time. Since it is also a reserve, you are not allowed to take anything from the island (so no, if you’re like me who likes shells for keepsakes, hands off), and you also have to conserve the amount of freshwater that you use (one pail of freshwater per person). The waters too are gorgeous at this place, and Mang Ruben, our guide, is entertaining, fun, and informative. We also got to see the tabon bird, an eagle, and a couple of orioles. We heard bats, saw big crawling crabs right behind the cabana where we stayed overnight, and met a lot of mosquitoes (so bring your repellants aside from your sunblock).

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A (very) early morning at Danjugan

Beautiful, right? Continue reading

Quote of the Day: June 5, 2012

He was not my boyfriend. On the other hand, he wasn’t just a friend either. Instead, our relationship was elastic, stretching between those two extremes depending on who else was around, how much either of us had to drink, and other varying factors. This was exactly what I wanted, as commitments had never really been my thing. And it wasn’t like it was hard, either. The only trick was never giving more than you were willing to lose.

via Words & Lyrics

A dream, a realization, and a rejuvenated love

A DREAM: It was one of the weirdest dreams ever, which featured a lot of rugby players and a lot of blurred faces. I was angry at one point in the dream–and I literally felt that anger bubble inside me when I woke up–but the one thing that stayed with me when I woke up was the feeling of touch–I was hugging someone so tightly because I wanted to make him whole. And the lines: Let it go. Let it go. You need to let it go. I remember the man say that he couldn’t, but I won’t have it, so I hugged him, wanting him to accept me, and swallow me, and consume me, just so he could be fine.

When I woke up, I never figured out who it was–all I know was that he was taller–and the dream still bothered me up to now.

Vivid dreams, for the win.

A REALIZATION: A couple of days ago, I was chatting with this guy, a guy whom I truly loved at one point in my life, a love which I allowed to break me. That last phrase there is actually huge for me, as it took me a LONG time before I realized that it wasn’t him per se that broke me–it was my love for him that broke me. I allowed that love–and subsequently the anger, bitterness, disappointment, and whatnot that came along with it–to break me, to make me burn relationships and friendships, to shape who I was for the succeeding years after that. I was amused at how easy it still was to talk to him, how I felt light every time he and I talk, and how he still manages to make me laugh. He was, after all, what I could call my favorite best friend (and while I do want to expound as to what I mean by this, I won’t, in respect to the other best friends who came before and after him).

I had always thought that I needed to stay away from the men and the guys I had fallen in love with–and he was no exception to this rule–as I always make that mistake of going back and falling in love with them all over again. I was the what-if-and-what-has-been type of person; I have a tendency to be stuck in the past because I love how it was (and I do know that that is a bad thing). But while he and I were talking, I realized I can do it. That after completely moving on and after acceptance and other big life realizations, I can do it. That it is possible to be friends with someone who moved your life and caused tidal waves of changes that rippled into your future and your present.

And then another realization hit me: it isn’t for every previous love that I had. Which is a good and a bad thing.

A REJUVENATED LOVE: Books! I want to party because I have lots of books right now. I don’t want to function anywhere else because I just want to read. I have The Night Circus, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Book Thief, Tuesdays with Morrie, The Happiness Project, and tons more books to finish. (I have a goal of 30 books for 2012, btw.)

I’ve got a thing, you know. My passion for writing and reading turn off at the same time, which is BAD. Or worse. Or wait–check that, WORST. I’m at my blank state when I don’t read and write. But this time, my reading mojo is back. Now where’s the writing part? I think somebody kicked the writing version of myself on the ground, pounded it until it’s black and blue, and it still hasn’t recovered yet. Well, I do think we can consider this blog entry as a start.

Can anyone find my writing self and stuff it back inside me, sew it like Wendy did to Peter Pan’s shadow? I NEED it right now.

P.S. I think we should re-title this blog entry as A BLOG ENTRY WITH VERY RANDOM THINGS INSIDE IT.

P.P.S. Please do watch out, I am trying to come up with my book review for The Art of Fielding. So many words for a good great book.

Coming Clean ♥

My life was just crazy the past three days (click here to know what happened last Sunday), and there’s this part of me that’s just thankful this happened to me right now.

I know what you’re thinking: getting hurt by a love that was lost or what might have been was okay?

Well, things like this–there’s nothing else to do but move on, right? It’s not like I have a time machine and I can go back to that exact moment he asked me if he could court me. And part of me has been wondering about what my life could have been had it had been him and me. Well, for one, my parents would get mad, as my mom never liked him. Two, I wonder if all the decisions I’ve made would have been based on him because I am in a relationship with him. Would I have taken up CommRes in UPd or studied in Baguio because that’s where he’d be? Would our relationship have lasted long enough for me to have a boyfriend who’s a soldier? Would I have been hurt from the next guy I have loved after him?

So many questions, and yet there’s no point dwelling on that. It’s just amusing to think about. And he was so sweet. I wonder how he is as a boyfriend and how good he kisses (haha, totally random thought). I wonder if he’d be as kulit as he is when he was my best friend.

And then that just made me think about something. I wanted to come clean. I wanted to truly move on from every other guy. So I told the last guy who hurt me (see here to read my open letter to him–but then again, this could be considered outdated) how I felt about him before: how much I loved him, how much I had hurt, how much my life changed drastically after that (comment if you want me to expound on this). And he acted so cool about it, even asking me: “so okay ka na? hindi na mabigat sa dibdib mo?

He and I have achieved the goal of making me feel better, of removing the bitterness I have carried with me for the past five frigging years. And I have him to thank for that. Had he acted differently I would have been broken once more.

And then I said: “friends? kahit na i wished you dead a number of times before?

To which he replied: “oo naman. kahit na ipinagdasal mo pa yan sa manaoag.

Did I say that I loved him before because he has this really good ability to make me laugh?

Anyway, so there. All clean. All clear. I’m starting off a clean slate–no more bitterness, no more pain. Just plain happiness. I can now find new love, looking at the next guy with new eyes. Until the time he comes into my life, that is. :)

Until then, I’d enjoy the newly healed, bright me. ♥