Word of the Year: FINIFUGAL – 2014 Year Ender :)

Another year done! I was looking for one word that would summarize 2014 for me. I dabbled with ‘fear,’ ‘indecision,’ ‘bad luck,’ etcetera, etcetera, but nothing clicked right. Until I saw this word: FINIFUGAL (thank you, other-wordly.tumblr.com.).

2014 year end blog


That was the best definition of this year. I think being finifugal relates to being scared of starting over, of new things, of changes (drastic ones, to be exact). A quick check of my year-ender the past years led me to one conclusion: I was, kind of, reliving my 2012 all over again, because the same quotes that I quoted still applied, the same complaints, the same worries, and a heartbreak (thankfully, a different guy this time, but jeeeez I never learn, do I?).

I would quote the same John Green quote in 2012:

“You spend your whole life stuck in a labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.” 

–John Green, Looking for Alaska


Let’s kick off this 2014 recap, shall we?

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Loopdeloop in 2013: Playlist fun

2013 was a crazy year for music: the confirmation of the relationship and then breakup of two of the biggest popstars (looking at you Haylor), a new Justin Timberlake album, a too-short NSYNC reunion on MTV Video Music Awards, the debate on whether Katy Perry’s Roar ripped off Sara Bareilles’ Brave, Miley Cyrus sticking her tongue out and twerking against Robin Thicke (an image that burned in minds and want to forget forever), a Beyoncé album dropping out of the blue, etcetera. (Those were the only ones I could recall top-of-mind, so…)

Last year, I did a run-down of my favorite albums, books, and movies, but this year I’m doing something different: a year-ender playlist of some sort. Check out the songs that I looped far more than my iTunes would’ve hoped for.

Little Me by Little Mix

Little Mix is the first group ever to win the X-Factor UK. They’re awesome performers and they write their own songs too! Their Salute album gave me the Destiny’s Child of the 90s feeling. This is one of the songs they penned. Favorite lines:

Wish I knew back then what I know now
Wish I could somehow go back in time
and maybe listen to my own advice

I’d tell her to speak up, tell her to shout out
Talk a bit louder, be a bit prouder
Tell her she’s beautiful, wonderful
Everything she doesn’t see

You gotta speak up, you gotta shout out
And know that right here, right now
You can be beautiful, wonderful,
Anything you wanna be, oh, little me

Do check out their other songs that I absolutely adore too: Towers, Good Enough, Salute, and These Four Walls

Last Hope by Paramore

First time I heard this song, I actually cried. There is something about the song’s bridge that kills.

And the salt in my wounds isn’t burning anymore than it used to
It’s not that I don’t feel the pain
It’s just I’m not afraid of hurting anymore
And the blood in these veins isn’t pumping any less than it ever has
And that’s the hope I have, the only thing I know that’s keeping me alive

Other looped songs from Paramore’s Paramore: Proof, Hate to See Your Heart Break, and Interlude: Holiday. 

Eavesdrop by The Civil Wars

Still sad about what went on with this band because they make so much good music. Eavesdrop is one of the many songs I loved off their self-titled (and probably last) album.

Let’s let the stars watch, let them stare
Let the wind eavesdrop, I don’t care
For all that we’ve got, don’t let go
Just hold me

This song makes it way too in the playlist of Gezellig 2 :)

Looped songs off The Civil Wars: The One That Got Away (THIS KILLS, LISTEN TO IT), Same Old Same Old, and D’arline. 

Pretty Hurts by Beyonce

Couldn’t find a link to the video of the song or to the song for that matter, so found a pretty rad cover of it.

What wasn’t covered in the version above is the question posed to Beyonce at the start of the song: What is your aspiration in life? And Beyonce’s reply: To be happy. 

Spot on.

Shot at the Night by The Killers

Learned this song through a colleague. Loved it, and loved the video even more. We all yearn for that escape, right? :)

Say Something by A Great Big World

Ever felt haunted by a song? This one plays wherever I go and on shows that I watch!

Bubble Wrap by McFly

Discovered this band by association to another band I was listening to. They wrote songs for that other band, so I thought of listening to them. Never regretted it. :) Their lead singer is the one behind the fancy wedding speech!

I wish I could bubble wrap my heart… in case I fall and break apart. It’s bubble wrap!

This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I’m telling you that I’m
A broken man who’s finally realized.
You’re standing in moonlight,
But you’re black on the inside,
Who do you think you are to cry?
This is goodbye.

Other hits I loved from them: Love is on the Radio (they have several versions of this, but do check out the Mr. and Mrs. F version), POV, Star Girland Lies (this one has a mean bass line).

Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

Would it be weird if I say I discovered this band because their song was used in a movie soundtrack? No? Okay, I’m safe (but, but…the movie was The Host. I know. BUT MAX IRONS.)

Also looped their: It’s Time, Amsterdamand Demons!

Save Rock and Roll by Fall Out Boy feat. Elton John

You are what you love, not who loves you. In the world full of the word ‘yes,’ I’m here to scream NO. 

Other lovable tunes from their Save Rock and Roll album: The Phoenix, Just One Yesterday, and Miss Missing You.

We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus

I had to. Whether we’d like to admit or not, this song was stuck in our heads at one point or another. I do adore the version with Jimmy Fallon and The Roots.

I have space for only ten songs (and I did try to embed the vids, but YouTube keeps on effing up), but I’ve looped a whole lot of albums and songs this year. (Okay, okay, Midnight Memories is still looping on my iTunes. Their new sound is rad. And check out Sara Bareilles’ The Blessed Unrest and Olly Murs’ Right Place Right Time).

How about you? What are the songs that had the highest play counts in your media player / iTunes? :)

xx., Kesh

Life is a rollercoaster, just gotta ride it: Year-Ender Part 2

Like I said in the part 1 of my year-ender, 2012 was a rollercoaster ride for me. My favorite moments and lessons / realizations learned and had are what made it a crazy ride.

I’ll do this list in the best way I know how: in song lyrics, titles, or book quotes. Ready? Let’s dig into my 2012 “recap” of sorts, in which—if you personally know me—you try to figure out which 2012 events do I pertain to:

  1. More than This (One Direction) >> If I ever get a tattoo (which I really plan to do in 2013, let’s see if I have the guts to push through with it), one of my options would be these three words. I think if anything, 2012 taught me to be more than THIS, with ‘this’ being a number of things, to wit: insecurities, problems, issues. Plow through the problems and challenges. Face them head on. Do things that you don’t like because you’re probably still going to end up doing it in the future anyway (haha). Be more than your fears because you’ll never know when there could be an adventure. Be more than your insecurities because you have to start loving yourself more. Be more than your pride, because sometimes you also have to be humble and learn from your mistakes. Be more than your paranoia because worrying just kills the fun of things. Be more than all things negative, take them and twist it to make it positive. Be more than THIS.
  2. Live While We’re Young + Don’t overthink, just let it go (One Direction) >> I think in 2012 I did this less: live. But I made do with how I lived: bought and read a lot of books, watched tons of movies (I wish there are loyalty cards to cinemas too), watched concerts (David Cook and Maroon 5—jeez, they’re all I could remember), thoroughly got mesmerized by The Phantom of the Opera, and became a kid again by enjoying Disney on Ice: Princesses and Heroes. I fangirled like hell, with standout portions in my year when I did it on the Philippine Volcanoes. I met new friends. In 2013, I promise to live more (I didn’t just quote a brand’s tagline, did I?). Travel more (Ilocos and Batanes, I’m going to see you soon). Meet new people. LIVE.
  3. You spend your whole life stuck in a labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.” –John Green, Looking for Alaska >> I will leave this realization be, because I think the quote pretty much explains it.
  4. “We accept the love we think we deserve.” –Stephen Chbosky, Perks of Being a Wallflower >> All-encompassing, really. It applies to my “love life,” to whatever I was referring to in #3 and to dealing with “difficult” people. If you can get out of a bad “relationship,” then do so. If you can’t, then suck it in. Stop gloating. We all have options—we just need to see them, and we just need to take that leap of faith. In terms of the difficult people part—well, same thing: if you can’t get out of it, suck it in. Be more than them and use them to sharpen your personality instead.
  5. “She has been hanging on to the hope of him for so long that she doesn’t realize there isn’t anything left to hope for.” –David Levithan, Every Day >> Well, I finally woke up. I was done hoping and pining for you, because—stemming from #4—whatever love you are offering is not what I deserve. I deserve better than you.
  6. “The world is not a wish-granting factory.” –John Green, The Fault in Our Stars >> I wanted to be published, and I am still not doing enough to get there. The world doesn’t grant wishes; we have to work hard for what we want.
  7.  [I can’t find a quote, a lyric, or a song title for this one, so I’m just going to flat out say it here.] UNEXPECTED THINGS. >> These are the best in the world. If 2012 was a rollercoaster ride, I’d say that December 2012 was the relief and satisfaction at the end of the ride—it packed some pretty nice things in this last month. I guess it’s true what they say: it does come when you least expect it (and I am not actually referring to love for this one).
  8. “Dear whoever you might be | I’m still waiting patiently.” –The Civil Wars, To Whom It May Concern >> Yup, I’m waiting. Hoping with all my heart that 2013 is finally the year that I’ll love and be loved in return. :)

So there. Thanks to everyone whom I have spent and shared 2012 with and to friends all and new. I am giddily excited for 2013. I know it’s going to be another tough year, but I can be more than you, 2013.